The Happiest PoOp In The World!
by Blackfoxi
Summary: Random stuff happening to the cast. Read here for random crazinessnessness. Oo
1. Chapter 1

Greetings, humans. I am Blackfoxi. Ok, some of you may know me already if you read any of my YuYu Hakusho fanfics, but if you don't, I am Blackfoxi. This is my first YuGiOh fanfic, and I shall warn you: I...am...insane...and I am a crazy person. Ok, enuff of that. Please remember to review, it really inspires me and I am low on inspiration. Oh, I also should warn you that this is all random and it makes fun of the show plus some other stuff and I should be popping into the story myself constantly for the added insanity. And this is all based on all of the episodes that they've shown so far. So read, review, rave, rant, regurgitate, so on and so forth. Happy reading!

Warning: For those who can't take sick, semi-perverted, toilet humor or extreme randomness, I'd advise you not to read.Oo

Disclamer: I don't own YuGiOh, if I did, Kaiba would be naked (ohhh, yeaaah.). The PoOp belongs to ME, however. So don't steal it! Oh, and my friend and her brother requested that their idea be in this fic, so the "Valon, the Sugar Addict" is not my idea. Give them credit for that one. Everything else here is mine. Eep!

**The Happiest PoOp In The World, By Blackfoxi**

**Chapter 1: One Of The Many Ways To Be Random**

The sky gleamed with multicolored lights. One would think that the apocalyspe was coming, and whoever thought that was right. The end of the world was coming, indeed. And the thing responsible for it all was...

The Great Leviathan. OoOoOoH.

A man looked out of a window of a big building. He glanced up at the lights, and a sly grin creeped across his face.

"Yes, great Leviathan," he said, "You are almost ready. Ready...like a batch of chocolate-chip cookies in the oven, the timer ready to go off, like a-"

Suddenly, a loud blaring noise caused the man to jump up 6 feet. Smoke filled the room and he spat, "Oh, damn it! I burned the cookies!"

He rushed out of the room and into the kitchen. He staggered through the thick black smoke to the burning oven.

"My cookies!" he cried as he put on oven mits and opened the oven door, stupididly reaching inside the flaming kitchen appliance, not seeming to notice that the whole room around him was in flames, not to mention his oven mits. He pulled out what used to be a cookie tray, trying to snuff out the fire by blowing on it.

...And now, a random prayer.

Oh, almighty random deity, please let this foolish man burn to death in peace, and take him to a place that has even more flames than his kitchen, so that he may live a "pleasant" afterlife. Amen. Mazel Tov.

The crazy doomed man finally looked up to see that he was doomed. "Oh no, I'm doomed!" he cried.

Duh.

Just as he was about to be fried alive, a blast of chemical smoke filled the room.

"Master Dartz!" a voice yelled. Dartz (that's the cookie man's name) jumped for joy at the sight of his "slave" Raphael (not to be confused with the ninja turtle). Dartz hopped around the room knowing that he had avoided death, although personally, I think he was jumping 'cause he was getting high off the fire extinguisher fumes. Both reasons work, but you don't really care, do you?

No? Moving on, then.

Raphael sprayed around the fire extinguisher thingy and put out the flames. He led Dartz out of the burned out kitchen and into another room.

Dartz took off his damaged mitts and threw them to the ground. "Oh, crap. I fucked up my cookies. What do I do now?"

"Who were they for?" Raphael asked.

Dartz sniffled. "...Me..."

"Dartz, let me just say that you're a total crackhead." I told him, rolling my eyes.

"Hey. Who invited Blackfoxi over?" Raphael asked again, "I hate her."

"Me, you jackass. _I_ invited myself over...and why? Because I'm the freakin' authoress, that's why. So don't you _ever_ question my authority again, or else I'll make you climb up an elephant's ass and live there for a year. I control this fic and I can make you idiots do _anything_ I want. So you'd be wise not to get on my bad side, 'cause I tell ya, I can make your fictional lives a living hell if I wanted to."

"Alright already." Raphael sighed, "Jeez."

"Watch it." I retorted. "Yes ma'am." I heard him whimper.

"Oh milady, to what do we owe this pleasure of your presence in my humble home?" Dartz asked politely.

I can tell _he's_ trying not to piss me off. "I need you people to do me a favor." I answer.

"Whatever you need, Lady Blackfoxi."

"There's something important that I'm looking for, but being as how I'm a non-fictional person, I can't find it. Since you've sworn your alligence to me, you can get it for me."

"What is it?"

"It is a very rare and powerful object. The only one of it's kind, really. It is _waaay_ stronger than any apocalyptic force in this god-forsaken anime and if you find it for me, I can lend it to you so you can destroy this world and revive your beloved Atlantis. And belive me, it is better than all 7 Millenium Items, Exodia, the 3 Egyptian God cards, the pharoh's power, any of KaibaCorp's technology, the Orichalcos, the Shadow Realm, and...the great Leviathan."

"Dear god, she's lying." Raphael lammented.

"Your commentary is not needed here!" Dartz yelled at him, then turned to me. "What is this all-powerful object?"

"It is..." I replied, "The Great...PoOp."

Dartz and Raphael were in such shock that their faces looked like this: Oo.

"Well, it's true!" I cried, "This object holds such power that it can destroy all! And when I say 'all', I mean _'all'_!"

"We belive you." Dartz said, though it sounded like he didn't.

"I don't." Raphael snapped. I gave him the evil eye and he shivered, but he regained his form. "And why is it spelled like that?"

"Because," I replied, "It is The Great PoOp."

"That's not a legitimate reason!" Raphael retorted.

"It needs no reason!" I shot back, "It is The Great PoOp!"

"You're an insane bitch! How can a piece of shit be more powerful than the Leviathan!" Raphael yelled.

"The _Great_ Leviathan!" Dartz screamed.

"Because, 3 reasons: Numbah 1: I created it, and I am the almighty being here, and what I say goes, and if I say that The Great PoOp is more powerful than The Great Leviathan, then it is! No buts about it! Numbah 2: Your plan will fail anyway, since this show's creator made it fail!"

"Hey, " said Kazuki Takahashi, "Don't get me involved in this."

"What's the third reason!" Raphael asked loudly.

"Numbah 3: Because ...It is...The Great PoOp." I said proudly.

_"AAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"_ Raphael screamed.

"There shall be no _AAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH_-ing at me while you are in my presence." I snap.

"STOP IT! STOP IT ALL! YOU CRA-Z BITCH! STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD! _AAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!_"

"I told you, there shall be no _AAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH_-ing at me while you are in my presence!" I yelled, "Do it again, and I shall decapitate your head!"

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT ALREADY! NO DECAPITATION PLEASE! I WANNA KEEP MY HEAD! PLEASE! JUST STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD! ..._AND YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY IS BROKEN!_" screamed a very preturbed Raphael.

"Because _you_ were the one that broke it!" I retorted.

"AAHHH! CRA-Z-NESS! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! AAHHH!"

Valon walked in from another room, eating out of a big bag of sugar. "Hey, what's with all the screaming? crunch-munch Did somebody break a caps lock key, crunch-munch or is Blackfoxi here? crunch-munch 'Cause it's really loud, crunch-munch and I can't hear myself chewing. crunch-munch"

"Both." Dartz replied.

Raphael ran out of the room flailing his arms and screaming like a cra-Z lady. Valon shook his head. "He's lost it. crunch-munch"

Alister walked into the room. "I just ran into Raphael on the way here. He says that there are demons possesing his head."

"Those probably are mine." I said.

Everyone in the room stared at me in shock. "You...own..._demons_!" They all said in unison.

"Yeah," was my answer, "Didn't you know that?"

Everybody spaced out, until suddenly, something huge crashed through the window. When the smoke cleared, we saw Raphael, with 3 turtles standing behind him. They were all wearing multi-colored headbands and carrying ninja weapons.

"I have finally cleared my head of the confusion in it with an exorcism. Now I can think." said Raphael, tapping his big head proudly, "And I realized that my destiny does not lie with the Orichalcos. It lies with my fellow ninja turtle brothers!" He then did some funny martial arts poses. "Introduce yourselves, guys!"

"I am Leonardo!"

"I am Michaelangelo!"

"I am Donachello!"

"And I am Raphael!" said the blonde, "And together we are-"

"The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" they all cried in unison.

Dartz, Alister, and Valon, as well as myself, stared at them like this: Oo

"Omigod." said Alister.

"Omigod." said Dartz.

"Omigod." said I.

"crunch-munch." said Valon.

"I shall pursue my crime fighting career starting...now! Let's go boys!" yelled Raphael. And with that, they all jumped out of the window...and fell 200 stories down into traffic. Then we heard some loud car crashes, followed by ambulance sirens.

Dartz, Alister, and Valon, as well as myself, rushed over to the window and looked down at the street like this: Oo

"Now there's something you don't see everyday." said Alister.

"Now there's something you don't see everyday." said Dartz.

"Now there's something you don't see everyday." said I.

"crunch-munch." said Valon.

YaY, total and complete randomness! I love it! I think I'll review my own fic! I got so carried away, I'm not even sure this fic has a plot anymore! WoOt! Blessed be, from the freak that be, Blackfoxi. WoOt! Oo


	2. chapter 2

Heeeeeey! I'm baaack! WoOt! Here's some more of the insanity! WoOt! Also I was thinking of putting some 1337 (LEET) in this chapter and maybe in the next chapters. I heart 1337. Ok, here we go! WoOt!

Disclaimer: YuGiOh does not belong to me, if it did, it would be rated R and the ever so innocent yet arrogant Seto Kaiba would be a pedophile. And sadly, 1337 doesn't belong to me, either. Nor does Paris Hilton, but I love to make fun of her (I still like her, so don't flame me for that).

**The Happiest PoOp In The World, By Blackfoxi**

Previously, in the Happiest PoOp In The World, Chapter 1: One Of The Many Ways To Be Random, I had informed the Doom guys of The Great PoOp, the most powerful thing in the world. Then Raphael went cra-Z and left the Doom to join the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, of which I think is a stupid idea, since they jumped out of a window and got hit by a car. Their loss, my gain. Now, at Domino High School, Yugi is talking to Duke and Tea outside. I don't care, really. I hate them all.

**Chapter 2: If Ya Can't Read 1337, Get Outta Da $tr337**

"The sky is blue, the gentle wind blows," said a very short and smiley Yugi. He twirled around in a circle.

"And I hate you, and I hate your nose." added Duke. Yugi turned to him, teary eyed.

"Really?"

"Yeah, "said Duke, "I hate you."

Yugi sniffled and began to sob.

"Cut it out, you two." Tea scolded.

"Okay!" yelled Duke as he pulled out a pair of pliers. He took a step toward Yugi.

"Hey, " Yugi stammered, "W-what are you d-doing?"

"I'm doing just what Tea told me to," replied Duke mischiviously, "I'm 'cutting it out'."

"Don't do it!" cried Tea, "It's the only thing that makes Yugi a man!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, right!" snorted Kaiba as he walked past them, "Even if his was bigger than mine- of course, nobodys' is as big as mine, Yugi could never be a real man. If anything, Yugi's an 'it'."

Yugi sobbed as Tea rolled her eyes. "How did we ever get on this topic?" she sighed.

"Because I'm so sexy." Kaiba replied.

All of a sudden, I appeared.(dun dun dun-dunnnn!) "Kaiba, you only say that because you have male insecurities. While it is true that Yugi's no man, _you_ aren't so great yourself."

"Oh sure, you say that, but deep inside that twisted mind of yours, you know I'm great. You know you want me...admit it, my dearest darkest admirer." Kaiba whispered seductively, walking toward me slyly. I try to step back, but he grabs my wrist before I could run away, and leans in close to my ear. He spoke so quietly that the others couldn't hear us.

"I see the way you look at me, and I can hear the way you breathe when I'm near you, too. Everything you do in my presence just screams 'fuck me, Seto', and if you confess your desires to me, I'll fufill them. Why? Because I want you too, my little vixen. So drop the 'hard-to-get' act and just say that you want me...because you know you do. Now, will you be my lover?"

I stare at him hard for a moment, my face void of emotion, and the look kinda scared him. But then I smiled at him seductively and he started to breathe harder and faster. I put my hands up to his face and I leaned forward, close enough so that our lips almost touched.

"Oh, Seto," I start, making sure I charmed him while speaking, "As much as I know you want me..." I took a deep breath.

"_I HATE YOU, YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE!_"

Everybody in the entire courtyard stared at me and Kaiba jumped in front of me.

"Keep looking at her like that and I'll rip your eyes out!" he yelled. The spectators rushed inside the school building. Kaiba turned to me. "You're safe, my lovely fox. They won't dare to hurt you ever again. Now, after I had just saved your sexy ass, will you be my lover?"

"No."

"Oh, _come on_. Every girl and nearly every boy in Japan would do _anything_ to have me glance at them for less than a second. They _kill _for me, even though I don't ask them to. But I give _you_ my love, my ever-so-coveted love, and you _deny_ it? What is _wrong_ with you? Am I not loving you the way that you want me to, or are you just afraid to confess your love for me in front of people?" he asked.

"'No' means 'no'. I refuse to be your lover."

Kaiba sighed. "Fine. I shall leave now, but I _will_ be back, I promise you. I will not rest until you are my woman!" And with that, he ran off.

"Damn, _some_ people got some mental issues." Duke snorted.

"Right...I forgot what I was here for. I'm leaving." I said as I scampered off.

**Welcome to English Class.**

The teacher strode in, and the students quieted. She made her way over to the chalkboard and wrote "1337" on it. She banged the board with her fist.

"Ok, listen up, you pathetic brats, today, I shall teach you the forbidden language of '1337', pronounced as 'LEET'. All must watch as I write in 1337."

**Note: It has come to my attention that some of the 1337 letters do not show up on so I cannot use all of the 1337 letters. I apologize for this inconvience. But don't flame me for it.**

She picked up the chalk and wrote: K!8 !$ 7h3 $3x!3$7 mn !n 7h3 w0r1d (!)

Unfortinately for me, I was in that class at the time.

"Miss Blackfoxi!" she yelled, pointing to me, "Tell me what it says!"

"'Kaiba is the sexiest man in the world!'?" I say. But then I realized.

Unfortinately for me, Kaiba was also in that class at the time.

All of the girls started hissing and booing at me, and the guys just hid under their desks...except for Kaiba.

"Will you all just _shut the fuck up!_" he screamed at them. The girls shut up to avoid facing his wrath.

"Thank you, Mr. Kaiba, now that will end our lesson on 1337 today. Now listen up, you pathetic brats, I am assigning a difficult project to make your miserable lives a living hell. I shall pair you off with a member of your oppisite sex to write a fictional love story!- about each other!"

Everybody started to scream.

"_SHUT UP!_" she yelled, "There is no way to avoid this project, since your final grade before you graduate from this god-forsaken school shall solely depend on _this_! " She picked up her clipboard and started to read off the names.

"Miss Serenity Wheeler and Mr. Duke Devilin."

"NOOO!" screamed Tristan.

"Ms. Mai Valentine and Mr. Yami-Marik Ishtar."

"No! I can't go back to that place!" cried the blonde bimbo. Artichoke-head snickered mischiviously.

"Miss Ryou Bakura and Mr. Marik Ishtar."

"Ummm, Sensei?" Bakura asked sheepishly, "I'm a boy."

"Oh well; gay pairing." the teacher retorted, "Miss Tea Gardener and the class's pet goldfish."

Tea glanced over at the fish tank. Goldie the goldfish was already dead.

"Miss Teacher-Sensei?" Tea asked, "Goldie is dead. I can't work with a dead fish."

"Oh well. Then you'll fail." the teacher responded coldly, "Mrs. cafeteria lunch lady and Mr. Mako Tsunami."

"But she poisons my fish! It is dishonorable to poison the fish of a fisherman!" Mako cried, waving and flailing his arms around.

"We can have another gay pairing: Mr. Weevil Underpanties and Mr. Rex Barney-Boy."

"Those aren't our last names!" both of the boys yelled at their teacher.

"Mr. Yugi Mutou and myself."

"WTF! I can't work with you!" Yugi screamed, "You're the _teacher_!

"Miss Ishizu Ishtar and King Yami the Ugly-Ass Pharoah."

Yami winked at his new partner, and Ishizu leaped behind a desk for cover.

"Ms. Paris Hilton and Mr. Joey Wheeler."

"Oh, yeah!" Joey jumped on top of his desk and danced for victory, "I got Paris!"

"Don't flatter yourself, you scrub. She can't make me come near you." Paris retorted, "That's hot, you're not." Everybody laughed at Joey.

"Miss Rebecca Hawkins and Mr. Tristan Taylor."

"But she's a _kid_!" Tristan cried, "What could _she_ know about _romance_!"

"I'm not your average kid." Rebecca snorted, adjusting her glasses in a smart-ass fashion, "I'm a _genius_."

Names were being called one by one, until I heard my name.

"The Dark Priestess Kitsune-Rose Mystique Blackfoxi-sama and Mr. Seto Kaiba."

Every single jaw in the room dropped. I thought it was from the shock of hearing my full name, but I was shocked because I ended up getting that creepy pedophile for a partner to write a romantic fiction story that's grade depends on if I graduate or become a lazy bum on the streets.

"WoW. I have never heard a name that long in my entire life." Yugi sighed, "Are you royalty?"

"Yeah. Don't ask me why it is that long. I don't know why either. Call me 'Kit' for short. I can't stand my ultra-long name, even though it's cool. Although people call me 'Lady' or 'Priestess' and they grovel at my feet, it's still annoying."

"Well, Kit, it must be dumb destiny for us to be paired together," said Kaiba as he walked up to me, "Because we were meant to be paired together for life."

"Shut up." I snap at him, "I make my own destiny, thank you very much."

"You tell him! No man can control a woman's life!" cheered Tea, "Girl Power!"

"That's hot." said Paris.

"Go back to your 'Simple Life', woman." Mai retorted.

"_You're_ not, Mai."

"Women are so complicated. Thank the random deity that I'm a guy." Duke said. Every guy in the room nodded.

"I just love it when you're feisty." Kaiba cooed, "Why don't we get started on this project?"

"Great," I replied with obvious sarcasm, "The sooner we finish this crap, the better."

"Yes, my dear. And with that out of the way, we could get in the bed without anything to worry about other than STD's." Kaiba continued.

"Uh, _no_."

I totally forgot the plot to this. Please review. Oh, and it's not like I hate Paris, this fanfic just makes fun of random stuff. And I wish my real name was that super long one shown above. It would be cool. Now I must go, but I shall be back! Blessed be, from only me, Dark Priestess Blackfoxi. Oo


	3. Chapter 3

**Blackfoxi: **Eeep! Me is back with new chapter! WoOt! YaY! Please review me fic! WoOt!

**Kaiba:** I'll review...just as long as you give me something in return...Meha!

**Blackfoxi:** Ignore him. His mind is filled with perverted nonsense.

Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh, but if I did, Kaiba would give me all of his money! Meha! I do own the Mario Party video game, but not the idea or the ring tone.

**The Happiest PoOp In The World, By Blackfoxi**

Previously in Chapter 2, the crazy English teacher gave us an assignment that would depend on if we graduated or not: We had to write a fictional love story with a member of the oppisite sex (with the exception of a few gay couples and Tea's dead fish)...and Kaiba ends up being my friggin partner! Aarrgghh! And meanwhile, my minions (Dartz, Alister, and Valon) are looking for the apocalyptic force known as The Great PoOp. Maybe I'll use it to kill Kaiba.

**Chapter 3: More Evil Peoples**

"You're coming home with me, Kit."

I looked up at my partner and shook my head. "No tonight, Kaiba, I got something I gotta do."

"You're avoiding me, my lovely fox. There is nothing more important than this project, and for one, I want to graduate."

"That makes two of us." I sighed.

"Good, so then you'll go home with me?"

My cell phone rings.

"And what's with the Mario Party ring tone?"

"I don't know, but this is a call I gotta take. See ya in a few." I said as I rushed outside into the hall and answered my phone. "Hello?"

"This is Dartz." the voice on the other end of the line answered.

"Oh hi. So how's that 'mission' going?"

"We've...run into a little problem."

I frowned. "What _kind_ of problem?"

"Well...Raphael and his Turtles kinda...got to it first."

"Damn!" I cried, pounding my fist into the wall and causing Dartz to wince on the other end of the line.

"Um, Milady? Are you okay?"

I was shaking in rage. "That 'object' is too powerful and dangerous to let it fall into enemy hands. Raphael doesn't know how to use it properly. Give him too much time with it and he'll kill us all! You _must_ retrive it at all costs! Or else I'll sever your heads!"

I hung up on him and reentered the classroom.

"So, baby, you'll come home with me?"

I swear with every cussword in existence that that bastard just doesn't know when to give up. I need to go back to the Doom-place-thingy to help those imbeciles get back my PoOp. I don't have time to fool around with Kaiba.

"No, Kaiba, something came up. I can't work on the project with you tonight." I told him. He looked a bit dissapointed, and I had expected that. But he understood; being a business man himself, he knows what it's like to drop whatever you're doing and run to your meetings or whatever.

"So I gotta go, ok? Bye." I waved and ran out of that room and the school. I ran for three reasons: 1) I needed to meet up with Dartz as soon as possible, 2) The skies were pitch black, meaning a thunderstorm was nearby, and I could see the sky light up from a distance, and 3) I just _had_ to get away from Kaiba.

I ran. I ran like hell. I ran like hell was inside my shoes. The rain started to come down in torrents, and all I heard was thunder. The rain came down so fast, I couldn't see in front of me. I was soaked and cold. And I didn't notice that I was standing in the middle of the street.

Horns honked. Tires squealed. Water splashed. I fell. Oh, crap.

"Lady Blackfoxi!"

I was lying on the pavement, unaware of my surroundings. I guess you could say I was unconcious. I think I was.

Before I knew it, I was carried off and put into a car. The water still blinded my eyes, and I flailed around, screaming, "Get off me, child molesters!"

"Priestess, it's me."

I wiped the water from my eyes and saw Dartz. "Oh, sorry. I thought I was being kidnapped. Were you the one who ran me over?"

"Err, no." he lammented, "I _almost_ hit you."

We were in his limo, going back to Paradius Headquarters. Thank the random deity that I wasn't in Kaiba's limo, going who-knows-where?

"Milady, you're soaked."

"Yeah, I know." I said. Sadly, it was the uniform I wore instead of that hideous pink and blue one that I was supposed to wear. But hey, I'm a rebel, and I like to stand out. And I'm the authoress of this fic, so ya'll gotta tell me apart from the other idiots. Besides, I look better in all black, black turtleneck, black pleated skirt, black combat boots. Hmm. I never thought of my choice of clothing being the reason why Kaiba hit on me so much. Oh, well.

**Paradius HQ.**

"Priestess!"

"Lady Kitsune-Rose!"

"Hi," I said as I staggered in the room, wet as water, "How are you guys doing? Better than I am?"

"Well, at least we're not wet as water." Alister replied.

"...crunch-munch..." was all that Valon could say.

"Still got that bag of sugar, Valon?" I asked him, and he nodded. I have never seen an addict as bad as him.

"Dry off, Milady, and take a seat." Dartz pulled back a chair and handed me a towel. I sat down. Then Mai walked in.

"What's all this I'm hearing about The Great PoOp and Raphael leaving us for a bunch of turtles?"

I told her the whole story.

"Well, as least I'm away from that crazy artichoke-head." Mai said.

"Got a creepy perv for a partner, too?" I asked her.

"Well, at least Kaiba can't send you to the 'loony bin'." said Mai. She's been calling "that place" the "loony bin" because whenever she hears it's real name, she spazes out. So for the sake of sanity, we shouldn't say "Shadow Realm".

"I can't go back to that place!"

Oops.

Mai fell into the fetal position, rolling around on the floor. Whatever sugar Valon was chewing on fell out of his mouth, all sugary and covered in spit. Gross, but funny. But still gross.

"Ok, since she's snapped, I officially fire her from the Doom-thingy!" I yelled.

Mai stopped rolling and sat up. "What did you say, Kit?"

"You're fired."

"_YIPPIE!_" she cried with joy, jumping out of a window. The very same window that Raphael jumped out of when he left the Doom-thingy.

Dartz, Alister, and Valon, as well as myself, rushed over to the window and stared down at her corpse like this: --

"I _knew_ that was gonna happen." said Alister.

"I _knew_ that was gonna happen." said Dartz.

"I _knew_ that was gonna happen." said I.

"crunch-munch." said Valon.

"Well, at least we don't have to put up with her anymore." I sighed, "Anybody else feel like jumping out that window to their deaths, too?"

They all shook their heads.

"Then let's get back to business. You said that those damn turtles got to my PoOp first?"

"Yes, milady."

"Then let's get it back! Tell me their current location!"

"They're in an alternate realm, Milady." said Alister.

"Where!" I asked.

"In The Realm Of Escaped Convicts." he answered.

"That seems _too_ obvious."

**The Realm Of Escaped Convicts.**

It was dark and empty. If there was escaped convicts here, where were they?

"We're the only ones here. Where are those PoOp stealers?" I said.

"Maybe it would help if you were to _keep walking and look for them!_" Alister yelled.

"HaHaHa, there is no need to look for me!" said a voice, although I guess even _you_ know who it is.

Dartz, Alister, Valon, as well as myself looked at him like this: 00

"Raphael!" said Alister.

"Raphael!" said Dartz.

"Raphael!" said I.

"crunch-munch." said Valon.

"I see that you all are here. That means that I can _destroy_ you!" He yelled triumphantly. "Turtles- _attack!_"

The ninja turtles leaped out of nowhere. Dartz jumped in front of my body to protect me, and Valon hid behind his giant-sized bag of sugar. Alister didn't move.

"Alister!" I cried, "Get out of the way!"

He just pulled out a gun and shot all three turtles.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Raphael, "My turtles!"

I just stepped out from behind Dartz. "That's what you get for betraying me and stealing my PoOp, you thieving...uh...bastard." I held out my hand, "Now, give me back my PoOp."

"Okay, Blackfoxi." he said as he threw something at me. As it came closer, I saw that it wasn't the PoOp, it was...a BOMB!

Then it went kaboom.

YaY! I don't know what to say here, except, YaY. Blessed be, Blackfoxi. Oo.


	4. Chapter 4

I have returned and I brought more of the greatness, so be happy.

Disclaimer: I disclaim everything I have been disclaiming.

**The Happiest PoOp In The World, By Blackfoxi**

Previously, in chapter 3 of this fanfic, Mai fell out of a window and died, we had killed Raphael's turtles, and he threw a bomb at us. So now we're pissed.

**Chapter 4: My Greatest Fear Wants My Body**

So, after Raphael nearly killed me and the others, I reluctantly return home, PoOp-less. So, the next day, at skool, Kaiba approached me...then again, when _doesn't_ he do this?

"Kitsune? Kit-chan? Honey? Darling? Love? Sweetie? Dear? Baby?"

I just ignored him.

"My beautiful slave of my undying lust?"

That caught my attention. I twirled around on my heels to face him, and right when I face him, he grabs my chest. So, what does the great queen of this fanfic do?

I kick him where the sun never shines.

Sadly, it didn't affect him.

"My balls are harder than diamond, even when relaxed, so no matter how hard you kick me, you can never hurt me."

I punch him in the eye.

"Okay," he moaned, wobbling back and forth, "_That_ hurt."

I just stared at him. "What do you want, Kaiba, other than to get inside my panties?"

He kneeled down in front of me. "My beautiful flower, I only ask that you work on this project with me. You _are_ my assigned partner on this."

I give in. "Okay, Kaiba, but no funny business, otherwise, I'll gut out your reproductive organs."

"Please, refrain from calling me 'Kaiba'. It's so cold." he cooed, "My name is Seto, so call me that. Or...you can call me any pet-name you would like."

"Okay, _Seto- bozu, you fucking bastard_, how the hell do we start this shit?"

"It's a romance story, right? With us in it?"

"Yeah..."

"Well then," a sly perverted grin creeped across his face, "Why don't we have sex in it, my love?"

"Not only _no_, but _hell no_!"

He sat down it a nearby chair, crossing his legs and leaning back in an almost too relaxed position. He licked his lips slowly, in an attempt to be sensual, and boy, was it... it still doesn't change the fact that I hate him. "I like it when you're feisty." he moaned in a seductive, whipsered tone.

I couldn't help but stare at him, entranced by his sensual play as he twirled his tongue around his index finger (which was resting on his bottom lip), biting the tip of it, nibbling, then slowly sticking his whole finger in, sucking on it playfully. I knew where this was going, and I knew what he meant, but... dammit, why do I feel this way... like... I like it?... No. I hate Kaiba. _I hate Kaiba._

He removed his finger out of his mouth with a soft "pop". He slowly traced his lips around with his wet finger, his leery eyes running up and down my vunerable body. I began to shiver, and he could obviously tell that I was deep into it.

"Does my little Kitty wanna play with some _real_ cat toys?" he moaned, with a playful wink on the side, "Come to your master...I'll make you feel _all better_."

I wanted to slap him for that sadistic comment, there's no way in hell that _he_ would be _my_ master.

"I'm a _fox_." I snap at him.

"Oh, yes you are." he said in that sick oozy voice of his, purring almost. "And, if I'm not mistaken, a cute canine like you likes _chew toys_, no? Only... I can give you a better bone than anyone else can."

"You mean, _boner_." I shuddered at the thought.

"What a smart little fox." he cooed, then leaned closer to me and said, "I know you want me. Come get me-"

I did exactly as he wished by, "coming to get him", ... by punching him in his sick face. He fell out of the chair and onto the floor.

"No one can have me." I spat down at him.

He growled, angry at first, but then his face changed into a lustful countennace. "I _will_ have you, Kitsune. You _will_ be mine!"

"Yeah, yeah, baka, keep dreaming and keep away from me." I retorted as I left the room.

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I was alone in the hallway when my pager beeped. It was Dartz. I hid in the janitor's closet to call him back.

"Dartz? You paged me?" I asked once he picked up.

"Yes, priestess. Raphael has resurfaced once more, and he's demanding that we meet him back in the Realm of Escaped Convicts."

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know." Dartz replied. "All that I know is that all of us, including you, milady, have to be there in 1 hour or else he destroy The Great PoOp."

I freaked out. "_Nooooo!_- wait... can The Great PoOp _be _destroyed?"

"We're not going to risk the chance of it happening, milady."

"So...when are you going to get _here_?"

I then heard squealing tires.

"We're here right now."

I turned off my cell phone and ran outside. As expected, there was Dartz's limo. I hopped in and we sped off.

To face that ninja- wannabe bastard once again... _dum dum duuuuum!_

Hi there. Bye there.

Blessed be, Blackfoxi. Oo.


End file.
